


Let me be your man

by olivebranchesandredwine



Series: I wanna hold your hand [2]
Category: Schitt's Creek
Genre: Angst, Canon Queer Relationship, Holding Hands, Introspection, M/M, Podfic Welcome
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-08-09
Updated: 2019-08-09
Packaged: 2020-08-13 21:20:44
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 613
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20180902
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/olivebranchesandredwine/pseuds/olivebranchesandredwine
Summary: When he holds David’s hand, Patrick confuses David. Because Patrick makes David feel things. Scary things like hope.David's POV of when they first hold hands, in a little drabble





	Let me be your man

**Author's Note:**

> Thanks Rosebudd enablers, my band of Mariahs. Title from the Beatles song.

David talks with his hands a lot, and he always has. He can’t help it; it’s just that the thoughts inside his head tend to spill out, overflowing what he can express solely through words. So he gesticulates, waves his hands around wildly as he tries (and, if he’s honest, often fails) to communicate effectively. It’s also an anxiety thing—a release valve for the nervous energy constantly zinging through his body. And David knows that, just like his utter inability to maintain a poker face, the gesticulation is off-putting, another way that David Rose is just _too much _for most people to bear. David knows this about himself.

David also knows that there are things he can do with his hands that can, at least temporarily, make people overlook the fact that he’s too much. Over the years, he’s gotten very good at using those hands, among other parts, to distract his partners from just how fucked up he is, at least for a little while. To make it worth their while, to postpone the inevitable realization, the inevitable heartbreak. The better David is with his hands—his mouth, his dick, his ass—the longer the reprieve from the overwhelming loneliness that is his life.

David is very good with his hands, and he knows it. Because David knows he _has _to be.

* * *

The problem, though, is that Patrick doesn’t seem understand. David is _too much_, and sex is how he makes up for that; this is a fundamental part of David’s identity. How the fuck is this…_whatever this is_…going to last beyond a week or more if Patrick is so hellbent on taking things slow? How can anyone put up with David’s _too much_ when they aren’t even getting a good lay for their trouble? Patrick—with his blue button-down shirts and Levi’s, with his “Can we talk about this tomorrow?”, with his “no regrets” and his earnest proclamations about David making him feel right—confuses the fuck out of David. This isn’t how things happen in David’s world. 

In David’s world, you fuck like a couple of energizer bunnies for a few weeks, and then it’s finding out you’ve been in an open relationship the whole time, or getting dumped while parasailing after footing the bill for a trip to the Seychelles. It’s finding out that you’re _too much _but also somehow still _not enough _and being left alone, again. Always.

In David’s world, they don’t hold your hand. They certainly don’t brush their lips across the back of your hand as those intense, whiskey-brown eyes bore holes into your soul. They don’t hold tight as they lead you down an empty street, like you’re something precious, something that needs to be clung to so that it doesn’t flit away. Not when you’re _too much._

They definitely don’t hold your hand as you walk into a restaurant, like they’re happy just to be with you. Not like Patrick does.

When he holds David’s hand, Patrick confuses David. Because Patrick makes David feel things. Scary things like hope.

David doesn’t know what to do with hope. So he just stands there, shocked, terrified. Because this isn’t what happens in David’s world. David doesn’t get to have tenderness. That’s not something you get when you’re_ too much._

But Patrick doesn’t let go. He keeps holding his hand and leading him across the street. David doesn’t know what to do, but he knows that he desperately wants this, wants to be the kind of person that Patrick will hold on to. Because Patrick is _good _and _nice _and Patrick is holding his hand.

And so David just holds on and hopes.

**Author's Note:**

> Find me on tumblr as [@olivebranchesandredwine](https://olivebranchesandredwine.tumblr.com) to shout about SC, or if you want in on the 18+ Rosebudd Motel on discord.

**Works inspired by this one:**

  * [[Podfic] Let me be your man](https://archiveofourown.org/works/20372317) by [olive2pod (olive2read)](https://archiveofourown.org/users/olive2read/pseuds/olive2pod)


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